Saturday, September 21, 2013

2013 Emmy Predictions

by Spider-Dan 

 

With the start of the 2013 Fall TV season also comes the industries biggest night, The Emmy's. It is a celebration and recognition of everything TV had to offer this past year. However, the Emmy's don't always get it right. Many of the best show's and talents on TV don't get the attention they deserve when it comes to getting awards. 'It's Always Sunny' this week was a perfect, perfect commentary on the Emmy's. Go search out the episode "The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award". It makes the point that some of the best shows on TV usually get unnoticed by the "award-givers" because they don't fit in with their scheme. The Emmy's do showcase the best in television, but, some of the best definitely get snubbed when it's time to put the ballots in. This is the major problem I have with the Emmy's and Oscar's. There is definitely a type that Emmy voters tend to lean towards, the "awards" type, but essentially it's all about politics and money. So, as to not shit on the Emmy's anymore, it still is a celebration of some of the greatest television. Though, personally, I feel as if some shows/actors get snubbed, the big players that should win are recognized as nominees, typically. There are many deserving nominees this year and most of these shows should be recognized for their achievements in television this year. It's a fun and entertaining show and Neil Patrick Harris is hosting, hands down the best awards host out there.




The Web's 2013 Emmy Predictions: 
Who Will Win, Who Should Win and Who I Want to Win


Outstanding Drama Series

Who Won Last Year:
'Homeland'

The Nominees:  
'Breaking Bad'
'Homeland'
'Mad Men'
'Game of Thrones'
'Downton Abbey' 

'House of Cards'        

Who Will Win:
'Homeland'

Who Should Win:
'Breaking Bad'

Who I Want to Win:
'Breaking Bad'

'Breaking Bad' is being nominated for the first half of Season 5. Because of this, it does not have that final season power advantage to take down the nights biggest award. 'Homeland' wins again, because the Emmy voters LOVE 'Homeland'.  It is one of the best shows on television and it deserves the accolades, but, it is the perfect example of an "Emmy Award Winning Show", it's politically/culturally relevant, with an edgy commentary on our post-9/11, terrorism-feared world. 'Breaking Bad' should win because 'Breaking Bad'. It will, without a doubt, win next year for the current, incredible final season.


Outstanding Comedy Series


Who Won Last Year:  
'Modern Family'

The Nominees:
'Girls'
'Louie'
'The Big Bang Theory'
'Veep'
'Modern Family'
'30 Rock'

Who Will Win:
 'Louie'

Who Should Win:
'Louie'

Who I Want to Win: 
 '30 Rock'

This is the perfect example of what comedies are considered award worthy. Where's the love for 'New Girl' or 'Community'? You won't see it during awards season (though I think 'New Girl' has a shot in the future) But that's just my personal beef with the Emmy's. Emmy voters will begin to see that perennial favorite, 'Modern Family' has lost some of its luster. It's still a great show, but the laughs have definitely subsided. Look for 'Louie' to lock this one up this year because, again, Emmy voters LOVE 'Louie', as they should. The show is a brilliant mix of situational comedy and melodrama. I would not be surprised if '30 Rock' takes it down because of its final season and a long history of nominations and wins. The final season was nothing too special, but overall, the series deserves to go out with a statue.


Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series


Who Won Last Year: 
Damien Lewis 'Homeland'

The Nominees:
Bryan Cranston 'Breaking Bad'
Jon Hamm 'Mad Men'
Damien Lewis 'Homeland'
Kevin Spacey 'House of Cards'
Jeff Daniels 'The Newsroom'
Hugh Bonneville 'Downton Abbey' 

Who Will Win: 
Kevin Spacey 'House of Cards'

Who Should Win:
Bryan Cranston 'Breaking Bad'

Who I Want to Win:
Bryan Cranston 'Breaking Bad'

There is an unwritten rule when it comes to The Emmy's. If a movie star makes a move into television, they will win an award for it. That will be the case with Kevin Spacey this year. He was spectacular in 'House of Cards' and definitely deserving of the win, but, I would put a few of the other nominees here ahead of him. Jon Hamm, Jeff Daniels and Damien Lewis are all worthy of the nomination and win, but Bryan Cranston should always win as his portrayal of Meth-King, Walter White. Next year, without question.


Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Who Won Last Year:
Claire Danes 'Homeland'

The Nominees:
Clarie Danes 'Homeland'
Vera Farmiga 'Bates Motel'
Kerry Washington 'Scandal'
Elisabeth Moss 'Mad Men'
Michelle Dockery 'Downton Abbey'
Robin Wright 'House of Cards'
Connie Britton 'Nashville'

Who Will Win:
Claire Danes 'Homeland'

Who Should Win:
Claire Danes 'Homeland'

Who I Want to Win:
Elisabeth Moss 'Mad Men'

First off, I just want to say that Jennifer Carpenter of 'Dexter'  totally got snubbed for a nomination. She totally deserved it, hopefully next year she'll some recognition, even though the final season sucks. Claire Danes will win. Nobody does crazy-bitch better. I love Elisabeth Moss in 'Mad Men' though, so I'll be hoping she gets one.



Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Who Won Last Year: 
 Jon Cryer 'Two and a Half Men'

The Nominees:
Jason Bateman 'Arrested Development'
Don Cheadle 'House of Lies'
Louis CK 'Louie'
Jim Parsons 'The Big Bang Theory'
Alec Baldwin '30 Rock'
Matt LeBlanc 'Episodes'

Who Will Win:
Louis CK 'Louie'

Who Should Win:
Louis CK 'Louie'

Who I Want to Win:
Alec Baldwin '30 Rock'

Another Emmy snub goes to Jake Johnson of 'New Girl' and 'New Girl' in general. This is what should be nominated, the show is miles ahead of most of its competition. Anyway, Emmy-shocker last year as Jon Cryer took the big award. I think they were just, like, "sorry for all the shit youve been through I can't believe you're still going strong, here, have an Emmy". Stacked category this year, I happen to think all of these guys deserve it. Louis CK is definitely a front-runner, his brand of funny is so universal that Emmy-voters and Emmy-haters alike can agree on. He wins in a tough battle with Baldwin, who I would like to go out with one more for his fireplace mantle for his years of work as Jack Donaghy.


Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Who Won Last Year: 
Julia Louis-Dreyfus 'Veep'

The Nominees:
Laura Dern 'Enlightened
Tina Fey '30 Rock'
Julia Louis-Dreyfus 'Veep'
Amy Poehler 'Parks and Recreation'
Lena Dunham 'Girls'
Edie Falco 'Nurse Jackie'

Who Will Win:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus 'Veep'

Who Should Win:
Tina Fey '30 Rock'

Who I Want to Win: 
Tina Fey '30 Rock'

This is a complete toss-up. I think any of these actresses have a shot at winning. Emmy voting history gives this one to Julia Louis-Dreyfus, but I wouldn't count out Lena Dunham, Laura Dern or Edie Falco. Amy Poehler has a good shot, and next year, my vote will most likely go to her, but this year, I give it to Tina Fey, again, for her long career as the heart and soul of 30 Rockefeller Plaza, both on the show, and in real life.


Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series


Who Won Last Year:
Aaron Paul 'Breaking Bad'

The Nominees:
Aaron Paul 'Breaking Bad'
Mandy Patinkin 'Homeland'
Peter Dinklage 'Game of Thrones'
Jonathan Banks 'Breaking Bad'
Bobby Cannavale 'Boardwalk Empire'
Jim Carter 'Downton Abbey'

Who Will Win:
Mandy Patinkin 'Homeland'

Who Should Win: 
Aaron Paul 'Breaking Bad'

Who I Want to Win:
Aaron Paul (Jonathan Banks) 'Breaking Bad'

This category. Oh man, this category. Stacked. I was shocked last year when the Emmy's recognized Aaron Paul for his incredible gift and gave him the award. Here's to hoping that they give him the nod again, it is so well deserved this year and next. I think the Emmy's will give this to Mandy for his role as Saul in 'Homeland', another strong contender. I'd honestly be happy with any of these choices (sans Carter - sorry, I don't watch 'Downton Abbey', I know, I know, I have to get on that). Look, Bobby Cannavale was insane in 'Boardwalk' last season, I loved his character and he acted the shit out of it. Peter Dinklage will be a perennial favorite until 'Thrones' ends. And Mike Ehrmantraut, Jonathan Banks. Yes. Thank you Emmy's for recognizing the brilliance of Banks' Mike (part of me hopes he wins) This goes to Jesse Pinkman though, hands down.


Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Who Won Last Year: 
Maggie Smith 'Downton Abbey'

The Nominees:
Emilia Clarke 'Game of Thrones'
Anna Gunn 'Breaking Bad'
Christina Hendricks 'Mad Men'
Maggie Smith 'Downton Abbey'
Christine Baranski 'The Good Wife'
Morena Baccarin 'Homeland'

Who Will Win: 
Maggie Smith 'Downton Abbey'

Who Should Win: 
Anna Gunn 'Breaking Bad'

Who I Want to Win: 
Emilia Clarke 'Game of Thrones'

As much as people don't like Skyler, myself included, she definitely grows on you this final season. She gives some pretty intense, emotional performances in 'Bad' (pool scene, anyone?) She should get it in this group of women. However, I'd give it to Emilia Clarke. (See what I did there?) She was one sexy, bad-ass chick this season on 'Thrones'. I foresee big things in her Emmy future, but not just yet. The veteran, Maggie Smith, takes the award again because of The Emmy's (and the world's) obsession with 'Downton Abbey'.





Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

Who Won Last Year: 
Eric Stonestreet 'Modern Family'

The Nominees:
Ty Burrell 'Modern Family'
Tony Hale 'Veep'
Ed O'Neill 'Modern Family'
Jesse Tyler Ferguson 'Modern Family'
Bill Hader 'Saturday Night Live'
Adam Driver 'Girls'

Who Will Win: 
Ty Burrell 'Modern Family'

Who Should Win: 
Ty Burrell 'Modern Family

Who I Want to Win:  
Bill Hader 'Saturday Night Live'




Eric Stonestreet has taken this category down the last few years and he is not even nominated this year. I guess the voters finally decided to give someone else the spotlight. Burrell, O'Neill and Ferguson are not alone in this category as Tony Hale is a strong contender. Out of the three 'Modern Family' guys, Burrell is definitely the most deserving, I have always thought he is the strongest character on that show, yet Stonestreet always beats him at The Emmy's. He deserves his recognition this year and I hope he gets it. Bill Hader is the first ever 'SNL' male cast member to be voted for an acting 'Emmy', what a career he had on that show. He was a big essence of that show for so long and it will take a ton of adjusting to fill the void he leaves (along with Fred Armisen and Jason Sudeikis). I'm glad the voters recognize this and I hope he takes it home.


Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series



Who Won Last Year: 
Julie Bowen 'Modern Family'

The Nominees:
Mayim Bialik 'The Big Bang Theory'
Julie Bowen 'Modern Family'
Anna Chlumsky 'Veep'
Jane Krakowski '30 Rock'
Jane Lynch 'Glee'
Sofia Vergara 'Modern Family'
Merritt Weaver 'Nurse Jackie'

Who Will Win: 
Sofia Vergara 'Modern Family'

Who Should Win: 
Mayim Bialik 'The Big Bang Theory'

Who I Want to Win: 
Jane Krakowski '30 Rock'

Julie Bowen is the likely winner, considering her strong performance in 'Modern Family' but I think, with Stonestreet sharing the spotlight with the other male roles, so will The Emmy's do the same with Sofia Vergara. I think Mayim Bialik should win for her portrayal as the hysterical socially awkward girlfriend of Sheldon Cooper, Amy Farrah Fowler. I hope Jane Krakowski takes it home after her years of work on '30 Rock', the show would not have been the same without her..






Outstanding Writing in a Drama Series

Who Won Last Year: 
Alex Gansa & Howard Gordon & Gideon Raff 'Homeland' "Pilot" 

The Nominees:
"Breaking Bad" - "Dead Freight" by George Mastras
"Breaking Bad" - "Say My Name" by Thomas Schnauz
"Downton Abbey" - "Episode 4" by Julian Fellowes
"Game of Thrones" - "The Rains of Castamere by David Benioff & D.B. Weiss
"Homeland" - "Q&A" by Henry Bromell
 
Who Will Win: 
Henry Bromell 'Homeland' "Q&A"

Who Should Win: 
David Benioff & D.B. Weiss 'Game of Thrones' "The Rains of Castamere"


Who I Want to Win:  
David Benioff & D.B. Weiss 'Game of Thrones' "The Rains of Castamere"

I have nothing else to say but "Red Wedding". This is a no-brainer. Emmy's I know you're going to get this wrong, and I'm mad at you already.


Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series

Who Won Last Year: 
Louis CK 'Louie' "Pregant"

The Nominees:
"30 Rock" - "Hogcock!" by Jack Burditt & Robert Carlock
"30 Rock" - "Last Lunch" by Tina Fey & Tracey Wigfield
"Episodes" - "Episode 209" by David Crane & Jeffrey Klarik
"Louie" - "Daddy's Girlfriend (Part 1)" by Louis C.K.
"The Office" - "Finale" by Greg Daniels

Who Will Win:
'Louie' - "Daddy's Girlfriend (Part 1)" by Louis C.K.

Who Should Win: 
'Louie' - "Daddy's Girlfriend (Part 1)" by Louis C.K.

Who I Want to Win: 
'Louie' - "Daddy's Girlfriend (Part 1)" by Louis C.K.




Louis CK is a brilliant writer and a comic genius. His standup is flawless and is excellently translated into this critically acclaimed hit. A win should be guaranteed. Much love to 'The Office', glad you got at least one nod for your final season, you will be missed.


As you can tell, I'm a fan of shows on their way out to be recognized, something I'll be doing here at The Web. So with that, next year, with 'Breaking Bad's' final season in contention, look out for an Emmy sweep: Drama, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor, Writing, Directing, Everything.

Catch the 2013 Emmy Awards at 8:00PM on CBS hosted by Neil Patrick Harris.


Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Top 10 'Key & Peele' Sketches

 by Spider-Dan

 

The Season 3 premiere of Comedy Central's mega-hit 'Key & Peele' airs tonight at 10:30PM on Comedy Central. With two seasons under its belt, and dozens of sketches, 'Key & Peele' have achieved insane success on Youtube. Most of their sketches have gone well over the million-hit mark (East West Bowl 1 is over 17 Million hits!). It is truly a testament to the quality and caliber of their ingenious writing and production. Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele, being of both equal parts black and white, are able to pull off something special with their show. They are able to be extremely offensive to both races, without being "racially offensive", it's tough to explain in words and it's even tougher of a line to tow, but they do it. Since they represent both races equally, it allows for them to poke fun at the stereotypes, without creating mass opposition (though I'm sure controversy still occurs). This is one of, if not, THE funniest sketch comedy shows on TV right now. They are gifted writers and performers and I can not wait to get a whole new season of sketches to add to my favorites on Youtube.

In celebration of the Season 3 Premiere, let's take a look at the Top 10 sketches, according to The Web.




Honorable Mentions

Pot Doctor
Season 1 Episode 1

I was unable to find this video ANYWHERE. This was one of their funniest sketches though, so I encourage you to watch the full episode online. 

Valets (Liam Neesons and Bruce Willies)
I couldn't find this video either for some reason. But this is hilarious and is also one of The Professors favorites.

Fake Phone Call





 
#10 Party Games

 


#9 Pizza Order




#8 Manly Tears




#7 Xbox Dance Game




#6 Obama: The College Years


 

#5 Suburban Zombies





#4 You Can Do Anything




#3 East/West College Bowl




#2 Substitute Teacher






#1 Karim and Jahar



There you have it. The Web's favorite 'Key & Peele' sketches. Looking forward to many more to add to this ever-growing portfolio. The Season 3 Premiere airs tonight, Wednesday, September 18, 2013 at 10:30PM on Comedy Central.



Here's a sneak peek at what's to come...

East West College Bowl 2!

'Breaking Bad' "Ozymandias" Review

by The Professor



First of all, I'd like to get this out of the way before I begin the review...

HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.

Alright, now that I got that off my chest...


"Ozymandias" first came to our attention during a teaser trailer released a few weeks before the season premiere, in it's original form, a poem, by Percy Bysshe Shelley, recited by Bryan Cranston, where it sent a chill straight to my bones.




The theme of the poem "Ozymandias" is centered around the concept that despite how mighty a kingdom or empire may be in its prime, it will eventually fall; leaving their leaders in the shadow of their former glory.

Parallels? With Walter White entering the "Empire Business" in this (first half) season's infancy, he currently finds himself at his lowest point as he rolls the last of his cash through the desert, while also losing the family he fought so desperately to preserve. Oh how the mighty have fallen.



"...Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away"   -"Ozymandias" 


The decision to entitle this very climactic episode after this poem was extremely fitting. The theme contoured to the plot seamlessly, and it is truly a testament to the writers' attention to detail and subtle foreshadowing.

Golf Clap


On to the content of the episode. In addition to the intelligent choice of title, the episode did an exceptional job of making me feel... well, feelings. It was one of the most emotional roller coaster rides I have ever been on; forcing me to experience so many in such a short time. I thought it'd be fun if, as I reviewed the rest of the episode, I'd take you on the emotional ride I went through.


Nostalgia


The episode opens with a flashback of Season 1, and I couldn't help but reminisce. Seeing the family where they were, a mere two years ago, really makes the later scenes hurt that much more, and it served as an excellent reminder of how drastically Walt's character arc has changed him. It brought us back to the days where meth-cooking was just an innocent side job, before Walt got in over his head. Juxtaposed to that final phone call, you can see how evolved he has become as a manipulative liar. In this first scene, it is the first "lie" he has to come up with in regards to his meth business. He carefully plots and structures his lie before making the call, and throughout the series we have seen him become a master of this. Here, he is "pretending" to be "Mr. Rogers" whereas the later phone call shows him having to "pretend" to be the monster he became.



Anxiety

"My name is ASAC Shrader, and you can go fuck yourself"

Ah, the conclusion of last week's cliffhanger ending that had all of us on the edge of our seats. Who's gonna die? Well, that was answered pretty promptly as we immediately saw Gomie's corpse lying in the sand, and Hank's fate hanging in the hands of a hit-man. My anxiety kept climbing as Walt continued to desperately bargain for his brother-in-law's life. Walt's desperation to keep Hank alive was redeeming, in a way, and granted him my sympathy for the remainder of the episode; he showed us that there is, at least, a glimpse of the Walt we saw in the flashback still in there. I knew in my heart of hearts that Hank wasn't going to make it, but 'Breaking Bad' still didn't fail to keep me in suspense. Hank went out the way he was supposed to, hunting Heisenberg, in the line of duty, and like a bauss.


Humor


Despite how tense and tragic the last couple of scenes were, "Ozymandias" was still able to evoke some laughter out of me. The music was spot on, and it was able to alleviate some of the tragedy of Walt's current situation. I forgot, for a moment, that a major character had just died, and I was able to laugh at a middle aged man, with cancer, as he struggles to roll a barrel through the desert during the lowest point of his life. Thanks 'Breaking Bad' you've turned me into an asshole.


Pity/Sympathy


As if this kid hasn't been through enough. Jesse Pinkman was just told by his 'mentor' of sorts that he watched his first love die (and chose not to save her despite having the opportunity to do so). He then gets beaten to a pulp and traded into meth cooking slavery. Suddenly, I don't feel like such an asshole anymore. You, Mr. Gilligan, are a giant dick. If anyone deserves a happy ending, it's this kid; and if anyone deserves an Emmy, it's Aaron Paul, based off of his performance at the beginning of this scene alone. I know we here at The Web are highly anticipating Jesse's escape from this slavery, and the satisfying gun shot to the head of Todd Alquist, that is so long overdue.

Disbelief


This is how Flynn/Walt Jr. finds out. His mother tells him? A route so basic I never saw it coming. But, watching Junior stammering in disbelief had me right there with him. After all this time, the most innocent character gets dragged into this mess, flipping his entire world upside down. This kid LOVED his father, like LOVED him. This was just a life shattering revelation; you can't help but feel for him.


Excitement


The reckoning of the White family begins as Walt's lies finally catch up to him. Everyone knows the truth, and he is backed into a corner he (for once) cannot lie his way out of. The scene takes an unexpected turn as Skyler grabs a knife and slashes her husbands palm. More domestic violence ensues as Skysenberg battles it out for control of the deadly utensil. Flynn even gets involved in an attempt to save his mother (a gut wrenching thing to witness).  By the end of the bout my heart was racing, and I was kind of expecting Skyler to die. What I was not expecting was for Walt to "pull a Marie" and straight up jack Holly. Totally gripping from beginning to end.


Heartbreak



God, this was so hard to watch. Walter has almost lost it all: control of his empire, most of his money and the love of his family. The only thing he had left was Holly. Out of pure selflessness, he not only gives his daughter back but he tells one final lie, one that will keep him out of his family's life forever.

Everything from that phone call to leaving Holly at the fire station was heart wrenching. It showed that even though Walter White has been acting like an evil tyrant, as of late, he still has his family's best interest in mind; even if that means severing all ties, and never seeing them again.

For a moment, I forgot that these people were actors at this point during the show. With the situation at hand so intense and the performances of Anna Gunn and Bryan Cranston so compelling, I felt as if Skyler and Walter White actually existed in our world. Emmy's all around.

And you get an Emmy, and you get an Emmy, everyone here gets an Emmy!



This concludes my emotional tour through "Ozymandias", I hope you shared at least a couple of my feelings as you watched the episode. Feel free to tell me in the comment section below.

The penultimate episode of 'Breaking Bad' airs this Sunday, September 22 at 9:00PM on AMC.

Until then...I've still got things left to do.

Score: 10/10



Saturday, September 14, 2013

2013 Fall TV Preview

by Spider-Dan  

 

Ah, Fall, the season of football, crunchy leaves and of course, new television. This year is jam-packed with new shows to add to your constantly growing queue (or is that just me?). It is the time in which the major network channels force-feed us their new pilots, as they desperately attempt to be the most-watched network, the most-watched night or even just the most-watched time slot. Whatever the case may be, network TV will launch a slew of new shows, and with it will come some gold, some surprises and some that are destined for cancellation.

Before I begin, let's take a moment of silence for all of the shows that ended or were cancelled in the 2012-2013 TV season...





The following is a list of the notable fall premieres for network and cable television. (Cable TV does not operate on the same schedule as network TV, so you will see cable premieres sporadically placed throughout the year, depending on their networks broadcasting schedule.)

I'll break this down into two parts. New shows and returning shows, in order of their premiere dates.





NEW SHOWS

This season is loaded up with new shows, especially over at NBC as they try to totally revamp their network schedule. This is a promising year for new shows, definitely the most excited I've been for an upcoming season in years. There looks to be some that will be instant favorites and some that make me question how their pilot was ever picked up. So, let's explore what this Fall season has to offer.


'Sleepy Hollow'
Premiering Monday September 16 at 9:00PM on FOX


This version of the classic Washington Irving tale, "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow", takes our protagonist, Ichabod Crane, out of 18th Century Sleepy Hollow and into the present day (through some type of time travel wormhole, I'm assuming). This is sure to be the most interesting take on the legend to date, as it certainly seems en route to be a genre-jumping, mish-mosh of classic story elements combined with contemporary styles and, well, supernatural science fiction, of course? Created by Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, the team that brought you 'Fringe' and 'Star Trek Into Darkness', look for 'Sleepy Hollow' to be a big hit, or a complete dud.



'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'
Premering Tuesday September 17 at 8:30PM on FOX


Starring Andy Samberg (Aaandy Sayhaimburggg, the correct pro-nun-ci-a-tion - Thanks Bill Hader ('Roast of James Franco' those of you missing the reference)) and Andre Braugher as an unlikely pairing of cops in a Brooklyn precinct. Samberg ('Saturday Night Live') will play the childish and nonsensical cop under the supervision of Braugher ('Last Resort') the gay police captain who has no patience for his antics. Also starring Terry Crews ('Arrested Development', 'The Expendables'),  Jo Lo Truglio ('Superbad', 'Role Models') and a couple of sexy police chicks. In the vain of hits like 'The Office', 'Parks and Recreation' and 'Modern Family', ''Brooklyn Nine-Nine' will be a documentary-style sitcom, mixed with police procedural elements. Although the concept is one that is used frequently, we have never seen it in a precinct, and can anyone remember the last time there was a cop comedy? 'CHiPS"? I have high hopes for this one, let's not forget 'Parks and Rec' sucked in it's first season but went on to become one of the funniest shows currently on TV. Here's to hoping 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' hits its stride straight from the pilot.





'Dads'
Premiering Tuesday September 17 at 8:00PM on FOX


  
In this newest creation from the mind of Seth Mcfarlane ('Family Guy', 'Ted') we see him team up with long-time friend and collaborator, Seth Green ('Family Guy', 'Robot Chicken') and Giovanni Ribisi ('Boiler Room', 'Gone in 60 Seconds') for his first swing at non-animated television. The show centers around the two video game developers whose father's both decide to move in. Expect tons of cliche Dad/Son awkward moments mixed in with hit-or-miss pop culture references (as with all Mcfarlane humor). The show has been buzzing in the news for its edgy content that already has some peoples panties in a knot. I have no idea how this one will be received. I know I'll be watching, but will the rest of America?


'The Blacklist'
Premiering Monday September 23 at 10:00PM on NBC


 
Ah, James Spader, the newly announced Ultron in 'Avengers 2: Age of Ultron'. This guy is an actor. He has such an entrancing voice and hypnotic delivery which is perfect for his role as criminal mastermind, Raymond "Red" Reddington, who turns himself in to the FBI to help catch other like-minded "villains" for reasons yet unknown (one can assume there is more to this plan than becoming one of the "good guys"). With a story-of-the-week premise, I'm hoping there will be enough serialized elements to keep me invested on a weekly basis. 'The Blacklist' looks to be NBC's new juggernaut, airing after 'The Voice' for that big lead-in. Will it live up to everything NBC has been investing in it, or will it flop like all of the other network failures in recent years? The idea is cool and Spader is the man, but can the story be enough to make this show last more than one season? Time will tell.


'Hostages'
Premiering Monday September 23 at 10:00PM on CBS




Well, I can tell you already that I will be watching the pilot episode and that's probably it, although I may be pleasantly surprised and keep tuning in with this one (more on this when I bring you my thoughts on all the new shows after a few episodes have aired). This is not my type of show, but I did tell you I would announce ALL of the NEW shows premiering this season. So here's 'Hostages' starring Toni Collette ('United States of Tara') whose family gets held...hostage...by a group of kidnappers, led by a rogue FBI Agent played by the very cool Dylan Mcdermott ('American Horror Story', 'The Practice'). Collette, a doctor, is set to operate on the President, but Mcdermott has other plans for her. I'm not crazy about CBS dramas, but this one does have a much more serialized structure to it, so who knows, maybe I'll like it. If you are a fan of convoluted thrillers, this is definitely one of the more promising shows this season.


'Mom'
Premiering Monday September 23 at 9:30PM on CBS



Anna Farris ('Scary Movie', 'The House Bunny') makes her television debut as a mom in 'Mom'. This is your typical sitcom about a single mother learning to deal with having to raise two children alone with the help of her own mother, Allison Janney ('The West Wing'), while also battling sobriety after her former alcoholic lifestyle. From creator Chuck Lorre ('The Big Bang Theory', 'Two and a Half Men', '2 Broke Girls', all currently airing on CBS), 'Mom' might be a success on CBS, but I'm not sold on this one, yet.


'The Goldbergs'
Premiering Tuesday September 24 at 9:00PM on ABC



ABC takes you back to the 1980's in this ode to 'The Wonder Years'. 'The Goldbergs' will undoubtedly be an 80's pop-culture heavy sitcom that looks to deliver a lot of laughs with nostalgic references in a historical look at an era that is defined by it's own name, "The 80's". The beauty of these retro shows is that despite the time and place, the characters are dealing with the same social and familial issues that we deal with today, which keeps it fresh and current. I am high on this show and I really hope it lives up to its premise.


'Lucky 7'
Premiering Tuesday September 24 at 10:00PM on ABC



I'm not thrilled about this show, I'm not sure it fits my style, but again, a good pilot could go a long way. This is the story of 7 gas station employees who win the lottery, big. With new-found fortune also comes new-found horrors in this character-centric thriller.


'Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.'
Premiering Tuesday September 24 at 8:00 on ABC



The Fall's best new show before it even airs. This is clearly the most anticipated premiere and I can't imagine it faltering. Get ready to have your DVR set to record for the foreseeable future as Marvel brings its cinematic universe to the small screen. Starring Clark Gregg as Agent Phil Coulson, back from the dead after the events of 'The Avengers' (Sorry for breaking my spoiler rules, but if you didn't see 'The Avengers' you have no business being on a site like this). This is a big budget, action packed drama that will see the agents of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, go up against super-powered enemies and acquire some new friends along the way. The pilot is directed by 'The Avengers' very own Joss Whedon, so expect an extravagant movie-like first episode. With a pantheon of characters, look to see some of your lesser-known favorites to show up on your TV sets (Iron Fist and Luke Cage, I'm looking at you). It is confirmed that the show will be in direct canon to the Marvel cinematic world, so it is possible we may catch a glimpse of Mjolnir, Cap's Shield and maybe even Tony Stark himself, as Disney capitalizes on its Marvel acquisition bringing it to its also owned ABC network. Here's to being optimistic this show is everything we could hope for and more.


'Trophy Wife'
Premiering Tuesday September 24 at 9:30PM on ABC



I don't know how I feel about this show. I'm definitely not excited, but I'm not sure how it'll be. I like Bradley Whitford ('The West Wing', 'Billy Madison') who plays a much older divorced man with kids and an ex-wife that is still very much involved in his life, and his 20-years-his-younger new 'Trophy Wife'. I get the "crazy" family dynamic they are going for to make it fit with modern times, but, meh. We'll see about this one.


'Back in the Game'
Premiering Wednesday September 25 at 8:30PM on ABC



Oh, this poor show. Ladies and Gents, feast your eyes upon this seasons first show to bite the dust. By the time you read this, it may have already been cancelled. Not to say it's going to be terrible, but I just don't see this show getting the ratings to survive the bear. A show about a young boys little league team whose softball playing mother is daughter to has-been ball player, Terry "The Cannon" Gannon, played by the loveable James Caan ('The Godfather', 'Vegas'). I don't know, this just doesn't sound like it will work, but I said that about ABC's 'The Neighbors' last year, and that turned out to be pretty funny in the end, so you never know. 


'The Crazy Ones'
Premiering Thursday September 26 at 9:00PM on CBS 



This show marks some of the biggest television news of the season with the return of Robin Williams to TV. After leaving 'Mork and Mindy' Robin has gone on to have a very impressive career as a star of the silver screen. He makes his return in this very non-CBS-styled sitcom about a marketing executive and his co-executive daughter played by Sarah Michelle Gellar. If you like Robin Williams humor, I'm sure this show will not let you down. I expect it to be filled with his signature famous speedy delivery, voices and mannerisms. Sarah Michelle Gellar, whose Buffy character will forever live on as one of the most iconic television characters of all-time, also returns to TV (not including the failed CW 'Ringer') which is also most welcomed. I think if these two can develop the right chemistry between them, this could be the biggest freshman comedy of the season.


'The Michael J. Fox Show'
Premiering Thursday September 26 at 9:00PM on NBC



Speaking of returns to TV, let's also welcome back Michael J. Fox. We all know about the actors struggles with Parkinson's Disease and his adamant activism in the search for a cure, it is the reason why he left showbiz in the first place. A star of many hit-80's movies ('Back to the Future', 'Teen Wolf') and the long-running TV show 'Family Ties', Michael J. Fox left acting while starring on the successful 'Spin City' (a role that Charlie Sheen would take over) due to the difficulties with his disease. So, much like his own life, this show will feature a fictionalized version of himself as a news anchor who comes back to TV after being away for many years building a family and fighting his disease. It is very meta, but also completely mainstream because everyone loves Michael J. Fox. Betsy Brandt, Marie of 'Breaking Bad', also stars as Fox's wife (let's hope she doesn't make us hate her again). This looks to be NBC's new flagship Thursday night comedy, and we all hope this show is as good as it is realistic.


'Betrayal'
Premiering Sunday September 29 at 10:00PM on ABC



I will not be watching this premiere. I am not a fan of soapy-thrillers that are geared towards women ('Revenge', 'Scandal', 'Mistresses'). I mean, don't get me wrong, they definitely deserve their place on TV to entertain that type of audience, but I am not part of that demographic. So, that said, expect the same exact story lines as the rest of them, with different characters and settings.


'Hello Ladies'
Premiering Sunday September 29 at 10:30PM on HBO



The newest comedy from powerhouse premium channel HBO is centered around an awkward British main character played by Steven Merchant (Co-Creator of the original 'The Office') as a recently single web designer who attempts the American dating world. As with most HBO shows, I'm sure this will be a big success, with a lot of "I've totally been there before" laughs and hilarious and awkward one night stands.


'Masters of Sex'
Premiering Sunday September 29 at 10:00PM on Showtime



In this 'Mad Men' fashioned period drama about sex, Showtime looks to captivate us with the "true" story of the birth of the Sexual Revolution. Starring Michael Sheen ('Frost/Nixon', 'The Queen') as Dr. William H. Masters and Lizzy Caplan ('Party Down', 'Mean Girls') as Virginia Johnson, the famed "couple" who studied the human sexual response system. Expect lots of nudity and lots of sex. Like, all the time. The whole show is going to be about sex. Every episode. So, yea, it's basically going to be well dramatized porn.


'We Are Men'
Premiering Monday September 30 at 8:30PM on CBS



This is a fun cast featuring Tony Shaloub ('Monk), Kal Penn ('Harold and Kumar') Jerry O'Connell ('Stand By Me', 'Joe's Apartment') and newcomer Chris Smith who plays a groom that gets dumped at the alter. Struggling with that life changing blow, Smith's character finds comfort in his new-found friends, three divorced men at completely different stages of their lives. I hope the writing does this show justice, because I really like the idea. I'm sure it will be filled with cliche divorcee humor, especially geared towards their ex-wives, but it's always nice to have some spoon-fed humor in your TV diet.


'Ironside'
Premiering Wednesday October 2 at 10:00PM on NBC



Your standard police procedural with the twist that the main character is in a wheelchair, so he's coping with his lifestyle change as a handicapped cop. Seriously, these are the shows that I don't understand how they make it to air, let alone become ratings monsters. Also, I'm pretty sure 'American Dad' covered this with "Wheels and the Leg Man".





'Super Fun Night'
Premiering Wednesday October 2 at 9:30PM on ABC



What is this obsession with Rebel Wilson? I don't entirely get it. Her "I'm ugly and fat, but I don't care" mentality is what drives this upcoming show. Staying at home is how Wilson's character and her friends spend their weekends, until Wilson gets a promotion and decides its time to get wild on the weekends. In a show meant to showcase that it doesn't matter what you look like, or who you are, anybody can go out and have a 'Super Fun Night'. I get the goodhearted message it's conveying. Although executive produced by Conan O'Brien, a favorite, I just don't think it's going to be that funny. I guess we'll find out.


'The Millers'
Premiering Thursday October 3 at 8:30PM on CBS



Gotta' love Will Arnett. He has come out with some dud television shows in recent years with 'Running Wylde' and the highly publicized behind the scenes drama at 'Up All Night', so now he attempts a series with CBS ('Wylde' on Fox, 'Night' on NBC). Arnett plays the straight man in this sitcom about a recently divorced reporter whose recently separated mother moves in with him. Add his father into the mix and it's that wacky family dynamic that people seem to love nowadays. It will be interesting to see how Arnett can go from playing the big personality of beloved character GOB from 'Arrested Development' to the "everyman".


'The Originals'
Premiering Thursday October 3 at 9:00PM on CW



Considering I don't know much about the mythos of 'The Vampire Diaries', I don't have too much to say about this new spin-off. I will not be watching the premiere, because I do not watch its launching pad series. I can expect it to be very similar and attract the same type of viewership, though.
 

'Sean Saves the World'
Premiering Thursday October 3 at 9:00PM on NBC



Featuring Sean Hayes of 'Will & Grace' as a divorced gay father (lots of divorced characters this season, really gunning for that 50% of all marriages demo) whose daughter moves in with him permanently. Cue gay jokes aplenty as he struggles with the difficulties of being a divorced and single gay man, with a daughter, balancing work, dating and parenthood. Who wants to make a bet Megan Mullally will make an appearance?


'Welcome to the Family'
Premiering Thursday October 3 at 8:30PM on NBC



Can we say "forced attempt at showing the cultural diversity of the American melting pot"? In this era of putting new-age families together on situational TV comedies (a la 'Modern Family', 'The New Normal', all of the aforementioned divorcee shows) comes this take on a bi-cultural family. A Latino and Caucasian family are forced to integrate when their teen children get pregnant and decide to get married. It's a show that will focus on clashing family dynamics and the hardships that come with being a teen parent and a parent-of-a-teen parent.


'Witches of East End'
Premiering Sunday October 6 at 10:00PM on Lifetime



Lifetime steps away from original movies about rape and domestic abuse and brings us their very first original series based on the book of the same name. This will be about women who are not yet aware of their witching powers and their exploits in discovering and learning how to use them. I'm sure if you like lifetime original movies, you'll love this.


'The Tomorrow People'
Premiering Wednesday October 9 at 9:00PM on CW



Starring Robbie Amell, cousin to Stephen Amell, the titular character to its lead-in show 'Arrow', R. Amell plays a high school student who develops super-powers and is always on the lookout for a mysterious group that is after 'Tomorrow People' like himself. A remake of a 70's British show, the CW takes on another hero genre drama to coincide with the much darker 'Arrow'. Expect 'The Tomorrow People' to be more like the CW classic 'Smallville' with a significant focus on everyday teen dramas, it is the CW after all, guys.


'Once Upon a Time in Wonderland'
 Premiering Thursday October 10 at 8:00PM on ABC



'Once Upon a Time' is one of the better shows on network TV right now, and with above-average ratings, this spin-off pitch was a good risk to take. We know from 'Once Upon a Time' that there are multiple "fairytale" worlds in the 'Once' universe, especially Wonderland, a world we've been to on a few occasions. This show is interesting, in that, it is developed as a one-and-done season show, in the vain of  'American Horror Story'. Could we possibly see a new 'Once' series in a different realm every year? If the ratings are there, I'd say it's a definite possibility. This story will feature an adult Alice, escaped from a mental institution and finding her way back down the rabbit hole to be with her true love. It's a love story with crazy visuals and exciting adventures, including a fight with Naveen Andrews (Sayid of 'Lost') as Jafar. I'm excited to follow Alice on her new trip and see what kind of psychedelic mischief she gets into this time.


'Reign'
Premiering Thursday October 17 at 9:00PM on CW



The teen-drama of the famous Mary, Queen of Scots will feature a mix of history, soapy plot lines and a bit of 'Game of Thrones'. Not sure if this one will catch on with the CW audience as I don't remember history being a favorite subject among high school girls.


'Dracula'
Premiering Friday October 25 at 10:00PM on NBC



Poor NBC, you missed the trend by 1 or 2 years, sorry, but, vampires are just not that cool anymore. Although centered on the most famous (and still best) vampire, Dracula, the vampire craze has worn out and attempting to make this show work on the tail-end of that fad is not going to be an easy task. Premiering in the Friday night death slot, NBC clearly does not have much confidence in this modern-set take on the character starring Johnathan Rhys-Meyers ('The Tudors'). Hoping to keep some viewers, from its genre lead-in 'Grimm', 'Dracula' is destined to get bitten by the cancellation bear.


'Almost Human'
Premiering Monday November 4 at 8:00PM on FOX



This is definitely in my top 5 for most anticipated new shows. From genius executive producer J.J. fucking Abrams ('Lost', 'Star Trek', 'STAR WARS') comes his newest television pet project, 'Almost Human'. Although Abrams is pretty hit-or-miss with TV (more miss than hit) when he hits, he hits big ('Lost', 'Alias'). Starring Bones of 'Star Trek', Karl Urban, JJ takes us into the year 2048, where every cop must have a vulcan-like robotic partner. However, the tech-adverse Urban, is partnered with an older model who is capable of synthetic feelings (Michael Ealy). In this sci-fi heavy, action-packed buddy cop show, it attempts to reverse the trope that our future holds a battle against machines, and instead shows us in a partnership.


'Atlantis'
Premiering Saturday November 23 at 10:00PM on BBCAmerica



This upcoming British TV show is based off of all aspects of Greek mythology set in the ancient city of Atlantis, the greatest in all the world, before it fell into the sea. Featuring characters such as Jason, Hercules and Medusa, the BBC looks to fill the void 'Merlin' left behind.


'Mob City' 
Premiering Wednesday December 4 on TNT



From original 'Walking Dead' show runner, Frank Darabount, comes a gangster drama set in 1930s-40s L.A. It is a modern noir about mobsters and cops with Jon Bernthal (Shane from 'The Walking Dead') and Milo Ventimiglia (good ol' Peter Petrelli from 'Heroes'). Turner owned cable stations have been producing much better original television in recent years, and I expect this to be one of its best.


RETURNING SHOWS

The following is a list of returning shows I am current with. Consider them my "spotlight" shows. (I'm sorry 'Supernatural' maybe I'll be caught up by 2014...)

'Brickleberry'
Season 2 Tuesdays at 10:30PM on Comedy Central



'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'
Season 9 Wednesday's at 10:00PM on FXX



'The League'
Season 5 Wednesday's at 10:30PM on FXX

 

'Boardwalk Empire'
Season 4 Sundays at 9:00PM on HBO



'Sons of Anarchy'
Season 6 Tuesday's at 10:00PM on FX



'New Girl'
Season 3 Premiering Tuesday September 17 at 9:00PM on FOX

Season 3 brings the return of Coach!
 

'Key and Peele'
Season 3 Premiering Wednesday September 18 at 10:30PM on Comedy Central



'The Neighbors'
Season 2 Premiering Friday September 20 8:30PM on ABC

 

'How I Met Your Mother'
The Final Season Premiering Monday September 23 at 8:00PM on CBS

This 9th and final season will take place entirely over the course of the wedding weekend.
 


'The Middle'
Season 5 Premiering Wednesday September 25 at 8:00PM on ABC

 

'Modern Family'
Season 5 Premiering Wednesday September 25 at 9:00PM on ABC

 

'Revolution'
Season 2 Premiering Wednesday September 25 at 8:00PM on NBC





'South Park'
Season 17 Premiering Wednesday September 25 at 10:00PM on Comedy Central



'The Big Bang Theory'
Season 7 Premiering Thursday September 26 at 8:00PM on CBS




'Glee'
Season 5 Premiering Thursday September 26 at 9:00PM on FOX

This is a somber season for the hit show as they mourn the loss of star Cory Monteith.


'Parks and Recreation'
Season 6 Premiering Thursday September 26 at 8:00PM on NBC



'Two and a Half Men'
Season 11 Premiering Thursday September 26 at 9:30PM on CBS 

The "half-man" is gone as Angus T. Jones is the latest original cast member to depart the show.

 
'Saturday Night Live'
Season 39 Premiering Saturday September 28 at 11:35PM on NBC

Big cast revamp as the show lost Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis, Fred Armisen and will also lose head writer and Weekend Update anchor Seth Meyers when he replaces Jimmy Fallon on 'Late Night' in 2014.


'American Dad'
Season 9 Premiering Sunday September 29 at 9:30PM on FOX


 

'Eastbound and Down'
Season 4 Premiering Sunday September 29 at 10:00PM on HBO



'Family Guy'
Season 12 Premiering Sunday September 29 at 9:00PM on FOX

 

'Homeland'
Season 3 Premiering Sunday September 29 at 9:00PM on Showtime




'Once Upon a Time'
Season 3 Premiering Sunday September 29 at 8:00PM on ABC




'American Horror Story: Coven'
"Season" 3 Premiering Wednesday October 9 at 10:00PM on FX



'Arrow'
Season 2 Premiering Wednesday October 9 at 8:00PM on CW

 
Let's welcome The Flash this season!


'The Walking Dead'
Season 4 Premiering Sunday October 13 at 9:00PM on AMC

 

'Raising Hope'
Season 4 Premiering Friday November 8 at 9:00PM on FOX




'Doctor Who' 50th Anniversary Special:
"The Day of the Doctor"
Premiering Saturday November 23 at 9:00 on BBC America



For a complete list of returning premiere dates, that I did not cover, click HERE)


So there you have it, my take on ALL the newest shows premiering this Fall, and some notable returning highlights. What are you most excited for? What's peaking your interest? Let us know in the comments or on Facebook! Here's looking forward to all the new (hopefully) great TV ahead!